ytd didnt manage to get any sleep. alright, maybe about 2 hours sleep. to0 worried abt someone. =/ wonder if he is sleeping well, wondering if he is still having nightmares? its all my fault. =/ i am sorry. but at times, i do miss him alot, and wish so much for him to be here, but everytime i am being disappointed and so now, i will not show it out anymore. (: and MIRACULOUS-LY, i manage to concentrate alot in class today. (:

today hab quite much fun! (: but for the whole day, i hab been studying and studying. (: so LOVE mathematics! (: teehees. xD anyway, today was temperature taking. =) and i didnt bring my themometer and so i ask en zhang pei me go to the hall to queue up to take temperature. =x and he kana scolded when he go back to his class, oh my tian. i am SO SORRY, enzhang! euu are the best man! xD

today in class sit with guo ren. (: teehees. my best pal. recess went with tjiaying, lishan and sean as usual. (: but i didnt eat cus i want save money plus i hab no appetite at all. =/ hmmm. but TJIAYING helped me with something!! (: teehees. its between, me, tjiaying and lishan. wahahahs. xD will not sae it here. =) thankews so much tjiaying!! (x

anyway, today me, sean, tjiaying, lishan and enzhang all pon our last period. we went to take bus 156 to serangoon north ave 2. it was raining and we walked in the rain when the sun was like so high up there! =.= we went to bring tjiaying's skirt to alter 1st, den went to ntuc to buy canned-coffee. den we went to the games shop to buy tjiaying's Nintendo DS. (: that tym the uncle told me and lizhi its $290 for the whole package. now it became $330. =.= so i paid $30 for tjiaying. (: and she bought WHITE colour! (: my favourite colour. teehees. xD so i maybe buying Nintendo DS toos. (: either pink or white colour.

after that, sean, enzhang, tjiaying and lishan to0k a taxi back to scho0l. and i went to find yusheng. but at abt 3:30pm, he went back to his scho0l cus he things on. =.= ask him help me lo0k for kuku, but he sae he cant find him.. so i went around walking walking walking under the weird weather [ sun blazing up high but its drizziling ]. and after awhile, i felt kinda giddy. =.= so went to sit at the bus-stop for awhile before continue walking while waiting for kuku. but i cant take it, duno why felt so sick, can see stars le and things in my view seems to "shake". =.= knew i was going to faint again like the other time. luckily sean called and i was intending to go back scho0l le. and ended taking a taxi back to scho0l cus lishan wan me faster go back and some idiots sae its emergency that i hab to rush back scho0l when it was only abt the noticeboard. =.= wad the hell. i wasted my money when i already no MONEY! =.=

after that went to taekwando. felt even more sick. =/ endured and still carried on with my training. Luke Sir sae i improved. (: teehees. my kicks were better and nicer except my hands and i keep jumping. =x and today, learnt quite alot of THEORY for taekwando. (: like, the footworks, how to combine footworks and kicks to counterstrike people during competition. and many other stuff which is like, WOAH! =) and thanks EDMUND for the drink. i so will buy him back a drink during the next training. (:

went home, bathed and went to tuition. met hanwai at heartland mall 1st so we went to the 2nd lvl to walk while waiting for zhehao and mingxian. (: after that, mingxian came, followed by zhehao. =) weilong today nvr come cus he sick. =x TAKE CARES weilong! (: when we went up to our classroom, we were the 1st. and during the lesson, hanwai was like so MISSing weilong. hahas. xD and he invented a new triangle "theory". and its the ANGLES IN A SQUARE! xD hahahas. (x so funny nors. =x teehees. and thanks MING XIAN, for treating me to sweettalk when he know i no money le. =x teehees. (:

and i found out something today. someone hab a CHARMING smile! (: and that person is ter guo ren. xD hahas. (: is accidentally saw de nors. and i seriously think that he hab a damn charming smile when he really smile, not those fake smiles. =) teehees. his smiles is very NICE. (: hope he could smile more, the way he is smiling now, cus he always do those fakefake de smiles. =.= and i know, his damn stress now cus of studies. =/ he isnt like last tym but at least i know he is there when i needs someone's shoulder. (: and i know he cares. 

and so moral of the story, never frown cus euu nvr knows who is falling for your smiles. (: 

and i dont like him larhs euu this idiot HANWAI! =.= i am saying abt wad i think only right?! does that mean i like him?! =.= wad the hell. euu hab such a weird mindset man! hahas.
 

kuku told me that i changed alot. he preferred the old me, the me thats always smiling and laughing and always hab time for many other things. now the me, is said to be more serious in things, hab not much time for other things and is not smiling and laughing as much as before, as happy as before. i was also told that i dont talk as much as before, i am like a totally different person.

and i gave it much th0ught today. and i really find that, i am not who i used to be anymore. its like, i dont even kn0w myself anym0re. since y0ung, i hab been afrai of changes, and now i realised i changed so much, i am scared. i dont know who i am, my personality, wad i want, and everything, its so different, everything around hab changed and its just so different. who can i sae this to? i totally hab no idea. i... just feel so lost and am hoping for someone to come and "save" me. when will tt day come? haiis. trying my best to hide it all andi hab been better at controlling my feelings and hiding them.

and, someone who hab always been there for me suddenly seems to be drifting further away from me. i guess i kn0w why and i dont blame him for it. cus i know and i believe that whatever he did, he hab his own reasons. i dont blame him. i dont know why. i always hated pe0ple that lied to me and dont tell me the truth, once i find out someone lie to me on my own, i would lose ALOT of trust in that person and not trut that person again. but he lied to me and i found it out myself without him telling me tt he lied to me, but, i still trust him so much because he gave me the secruity feeling and he always do what he promised me, he nvr break any of his promises before. i still remembered he followed my home just because he was worried abt me cus i looked sad that day. and he sent me to sch and waited for me to board the bus to go to HTA before he leaves. and he accompanied me almost everywhere during my worst times and cheered me up and taught me many things. even if we are drifting away, he shall remain as the FOREVER nicest friend in my heart. cus he made me understand many things around. he sure helped me alot. (: i miss the times having him around. 

i guess somepeopl noe who i am talking abt. but pls, dotn misunderstand, i treat him as a friend only, as a very very very go0d friend. and i am contented with wad i hab now. (: but, when i am feeling upset, i wished he is back here to comfort and gib me tt security-feelings once again, to cheer me up and encourage me to go on. but i am so happiew that i hab my friends around. i cherish them alot, especially lishan, tjiaying, vanessa, jasmine, sean, guoren, enzhang, weilong and company, 3e2'o8 fellows, the CIs, and apparently EVERYONE. they all mean something special to me. (:  

well~ i shall end this boring and long post for now. (:

today is the 1st day of scho0l re0pen! wo0ho0s! i miss my classmates so much, i miss my class so much, i miss my table, i miss my chair, i miss the whiteb0ard, i miss the fan, i miss SCHOOL!! =x but t0day, damn tired larhs! =x cus ytd talked with kuku on the ph0ne till abt 1:45am den sleep. so t0day was like damn freaking tied!! anyways, that is LIZHI crazy de nors! 0nce she reach scho0l, she see me jiu LAUGH. =.= ahhas. Wad to expect fr0m her?! i LOVE lizhi!! [ i am NOT lesbian ] xD anyways, there are new teachers that j0in 0ur scho0l. ahhas. (x and there is a new china girl that j0in MY CLASS. =.= nvr minds, welc0mes t0 her! (:

t0day, alth0ugh very very very tired, yet i still can tahan and study everything! great ba? =x and i actually listen to A-Maths and E-Maths lessons when i always sleep or d0 0ther stuffs. but now, I actually STUDIED! =) i wana aim f0r the c0urse i wana take in polytechnic. the c0urse is Airport Management c0urse which requires L1B4 to be 6 and below and 1 year it take only 8o students. isn’t that GREAT?! so i hab t0 w0rk hard le. s0, i hab been studying wh0le day l0ng. xP

and s0me0ne t0day see me in scho0l dao me n0rs! still sae dun hab. recess walk pass him, he just da0 me sia! Hmph. But end up we still hab talk larhs. ahhas, he is a JOKER! =x wo0ts wo0ts. he sh0uld kn0w wh0 he is n0rs. (x and he is TER GUO REN! wakakas. and i see that DESMOND ANG, i cant help but laugh larhs! he is an0ther j0ker n0rs. =x 

during less0n time als0 hab sms f0r the 1st half day. sms-ed lim fei, h0pe he is fine ba. cheer up boy! xD 0hyas, tom0rr0w hab physics test and i hab no idea where to study! So dead. =/ i wana j0in combine physics and c0mbine chemistry tuition lia0s. wakakakas. >=)

t0day 1st day scho0l de mo0d is, excited plus scared. n0 idea why suddenly i d0nt wana talk at all n0rs. =x but still f0rced myself t0 smile larhs. teehees. xD but i dun0 why i felt weird inside. t0day, walk t0 scho0l, i miss seeing the beautiful m0rning sky. and the r0ute reminds me 0f many things.. haiis. time sure pass by fast and half a year is n0w g0ne.. =/ times flies very quickly.. lets see, 6months ag0, its all just s0 different. i miss the times with cheryl and z0ra. i miss times with him. Maybe, its time for me to let g0, but d0nt f0rce me t0 let g0. its my feelings, when it is time f0r me t0 let go, i will let g0.